Unfortunately, I can not claim this brilliant narrative as my own. It was found through good fortune, like a diamond in the rough.
******************
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can only be one.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Today...
Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, asked the NYC Police Department if he could lay a wreath at the World Trade Center site, before his appearance on Sunday at the UN General Assembly. Unfortunately (in my opinion) his request was denied and even vehemently objected to.
I can not fault the large outcry by the American public. For in my eyes, the media has done a fascinating job of commanding public opinion and severly misinforming us about the issues surrounding Iran. However, what upsets me more are the statements issued by presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney and Rudolph Giuliani. I thought they would be a bit more diplomatic. Instead, it seems in an effort to score points with the voters, all three denounced his request as "unacceptable," "outrageous" and "shockingly audacious." In my opinion, these selfish remarks have all but killed any hope of having a formal and legitamate debate in this country about Iran.
Did you know, Iran was the only Middle East country to hold a formal state-organized vigil for the victims of 9/11? This is something you would never hear about in American media outlets. Like Pakistan, the debate on Iran has been overpowered by negative perceptions.
Don't get me wrong. President Ahmadinejad has made a number of reckless statements, but show me someone who hasn't. In my opinion, his request to visit Ground Zero was a gesture of good will. A possible step in the right direction. Instead, it was undermined by the reckless comments of three presidential candidates who, themselves, periodically stress the importance of talking to your enemies. Their statements, like past ones made by Ahmadinejad, represent poor judgement and continue to feed ill-will and misunderstanding.
I just wish the majority of US citizens would identify this and see past the negative drumbeat that is perpetuated by politicians and the media. Question the fairness and honesty of the flavors you hear in mainstream news.
I highly recommend to whoever is interested in truly learning about Iran - its people and government - to watch this...
http://www.csis.org/component/option,com_csis_events/task,view/id,1341/
I can not fault the large outcry by the American public. For in my eyes, the media has done a fascinating job of commanding public opinion and severly misinforming us about the issues surrounding Iran. However, what upsets me more are the statements issued by presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney and Rudolph Giuliani. I thought they would be a bit more diplomatic. Instead, it seems in an effort to score points with the voters, all three denounced his request as "unacceptable," "outrageous" and "shockingly audacious." In my opinion, these selfish remarks have all but killed any hope of having a formal and legitamate debate in this country about Iran.
Did you know, Iran was the only Middle East country to hold a formal state-organized vigil for the victims of 9/11? This is something you would never hear about in American media outlets. Like Pakistan, the debate on Iran has been overpowered by negative perceptions.
Don't get me wrong. President Ahmadinejad has made a number of reckless statements, but show me someone who hasn't. In my opinion, his request to visit Ground Zero was a gesture of good will. A possible step in the right direction. Instead, it was undermined by the reckless comments of three presidential candidates who, themselves, periodically stress the importance of talking to your enemies. Their statements, like past ones made by Ahmadinejad, represent poor judgement and continue to feed ill-will and misunderstanding.
I just wish the majority of US citizens would identify this and see past the negative drumbeat that is perpetuated by politicians and the media. Question the fairness and honesty of the flavors you hear in mainstream news.
I highly recommend to whoever is interested in truly learning about Iran - its people and government - to watch this...
http://www.csis.org/component/option,com_csis_events/task,view/id,1341/
Friday, September 14, 2007
Senator Jim Webb
In light of recent events regarding US foreign policy, I wrote this letter to the Senator....
Sent: Sept. 10, 2007
Dear Senator Webb,
I am deeply concerned with our recent pledge to supply over $50 billion worth of weapons and artillery to 6 nations in a region already strife with intolerance, uncertainty, and factional abuse.
These arms deals probably happen more often than I, and the general public may know. Perhaps, the only reason this bid has found its way into the public eye is because of the offer's size, depth, implications and partners. However, I strongly believe this maneuver has "mistake" written all over it. And could rival the incompetent decision to "De-Baathisise" the Iraqi army, which we now know kick started that nations violence.
Common sense tells me, sir, this decision could have similar ramifications but on a much larger scale. These actions do not encourage regional security, and I fear it may provide further reason(s) for the Iranian regime to continue its nuclear energy program, thus leading to an escalation in a part of the world where there is already an increasing divide among the Shi'a and Sunni, not to mention the Arab-Israeli conflict.
Furthermore, Iran has an increasingly favorable social position around the Middle East in which many believe they are standing-up against the 'bullying' of the U.S. I understand there is the concept of 'strategic ambiguity,' where the threat of force has been used to back up diplomacy. But I believe this philosophy is an 'old school' approach and certainly misplaced in a region already feeling bombarded by "the West" and its "political agenda." If we are serious about promoting peace, then we must be serious about promoting a mutual understanding. Our first priority should be a non-discriminatory and engaging dialogue, addressing the ROOT ISSUES and their ROOT CAUSES.
Senator Webb, please do all you can to research, question and dispel the negative interests involved in this ill-advised, precarious, and counter-intuitive decision. Let us not feed the fire that we started in Iraq.
Sincerely,
Hasan Aloul
Sent: Sept. 10, 2007
******************************
Dear Senator Webb,
I am deeply concerned with our recent pledge to supply over $50 billion worth of weapons and artillery to 6 nations in a region already strife with intolerance, uncertainty, and factional abuse.
These arms deals probably happen more often than I, and the general public may know. Perhaps, the only reason this bid has found its way into the public eye is because of the offer's size, depth, implications and partners. However, I strongly believe this maneuver has "mistake" written all over it. And could rival the incompetent decision to "De-Baathisise" the Iraqi army, which we now know kick started that nations violence.
Common sense tells me, sir, this decision could have similar ramifications but on a much larger scale. These actions do not encourage regional security, and I fear it may provide further reason(s) for the Iranian regime to continue its nuclear energy program, thus leading to an escalation in a part of the world where there is already an increasing divide among the Shi'a and Sunni, not to mention the Arab-Israeli conflict.
Furthermore, Iran has an increasingly favorable social position around the Middle East in which many believe they are standing-up against the 'bullying' of the U.S. I understand there is the concept of 'strategic ambiguity,' where the threat of force has been used to back up diplomacy. But I believe this philosophy is an 'old school' approach and certainly misplaced in a region already feeling bombarded by "the West" and its "political agenda." If we are serious about promoting peace, then we must be serious about promoting a mutual understanding. Our first priority should be a non-discriminatory and engaging dialogue, addressing the ROOT ISSUES and their ROOT CAUSES.
Senator Webb, please do all you can to research, question and dispel the negative interests involved in this ill-advised, precarious, and counter-intuitive decision. Let us not feed the fire that we started in Iraq.
Sincerely,
Hasan Aloul
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Las Vegas
For all its indulgence, glitz and glamour there will always be that one 'perfect' experience for Hasan Aloul. No, I'm not talking about the jubilation when I first received the stripper trading cards, or the time when I won $209 on #32, or even that delicious duck with the amazing prune sauce. On the contrary my friends, it was on a day where the sun beat down like a halogen lamp two feet from my face. A day where the breeze decided to go else-where and be replaced by bonfire gusts. A day where you could fry an egg on the sidewalk to save lunch money and instead, gamble more. Yes sir, it was the perfect day for a nose bleed.
I had just finished my tour of the strip. Everything I had set out to do had been satisfyingly accomplished except for one thing. A picture of the famous "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign. As I walked past Excalibur, I noticed tourists loading a sightseeing bus. Without hesitation I proceeded to the public transport in hopes of uncovering the whereabouts of this landmark sign. Upon my approach to the first step of the bus, a gust of heat wiped me like a furry quilt. I continued, stepped on to the bus, and no sooner than I could finish my question a runny and liquid sensation tickled my nose. The bus driver stood there speechless, his draw dropped while I immediately took hold of the situation and demanded a paper towel. He fired back,
"don't get it on my bus, don't get it on my bus! I'll have to cancel the ride! Please step off the bus."
I ignored this asshole and demanded another paper towel to which he replied, "I'm all out, please don't get it on my bus!"
Thoughts of 'f-you' ran through my head as I began managing the red substance with my palms and knuckles. But I had the last laugh. Before exiting the bus I took a shot at the wastebasket with my tie-die paper towel. That bus driver was lucky I made the 7 footer. Nonetheless, I left my mark.
Upon exiting the bus, I proceeded hastily to the nearest individual asking for any paper tissues. However, I realized quickly this was not the answer and rushed into Camelot casino and hotel. Speeding on to the casino floor, passer-bys took notice and gave concerned and disturbed looks. Never had the feeling of "that's what you get for doing that last line" been so blatant in human communication. Luckily, however, most were consumed by their rolling slot machines, oblivious to the chaos around them.
Then, hope. A waitress, a goddess, someone who could point me away from this labyrinth of money machines and addicts. I headed straight for her, she gave me one look and to my dismay, re-routed her course. 'Bitch,' I thought to myself. She too must have been like "another coke head, forget that." Fortunately, I saw the bathroom in the distance. However, before making the turn, I asked the waitress for some of the napkins on her tray while blood steadily found its way to my wrist. She dared not to look at me as she grabbed a stash and held them like they were about to drop from her finger tips. Regardless, success and management was only seconds away.
I spent the next 20 minutes in that men's room, hovering between the sink and paper towels, pinching my nose and graciously thanking the fact it didn't reach my clothing.
There are times when I think back to that day. As the charm and luck of Vegas would have it, my condition was exploited. A perfect day created the perfect circumstances for a perfect bleed. There's nothing left to say except, to hell with that bus driver.
I had just finished my tour of the strip. Everything I had set out to do had been satisfyingly accomplished except for one thing. A picture of the famous "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign. As I walked past Excalibur, I noticed tourists loading a sightseeing bus. Without hesitation I proceeded to the public transport in hopes of uncovering the whereabouts of this landmark sign. Upon my approach to the first step of the bus, a gust of heat wiped me like a furry quilt. I continued, stepped on to the bus, and no sooner than I could finish my question a runny and liquid sensation tickled my nose. The bus driver stood there speechless, his draw dropped while I immediately took hold of the situation and demanded a paper towel. He fired back,
"don't get it on my bus, don't get it on my bus! I'll have to cancel the ride! Please step off the bus."
I ignored this asshole and demanded another paper towel to which he replied, "I'm all out, please don't get it on my bus!"
Thoughts of 'f-you' ran through my head as I began managing the red substance with my palms and knuckles. But I had the last laugh. Before exiting the bus I took a shot at the wastebasket with my tie-die paper towel. That bus driver was lucky I made the 7 footer. Nonetheless, I left my mark.
Upon exiting the bus, I proceeded hastily to the nearest individual asking for any paper tissues. However, I realized quickly this was not the answer and rushed into Camelot casino and hotel. Speeding on to the casino floor, passer-bys took notice and gave concerned and disturbed looks. Never had the feeling of "that's what you get for doing that last line" been so blatant in human communication. Luckily, however, most were consumed by their rolling slot machines, oblivious to the chaos around them.
Then, hope. A waitress, a goddess, someone who could point me away from this labyrinth of money machines and addicts. I headed straight for her, she gave me one look and to my dismay, re-routed her course. 'Bitch,' I thought to myself. She too must have been like "another coke head, forget that." Fortunately, I saw the bathroom in the distance. However, before making the turn, I asked the waitress for some of the napkins on her tray while blood steadily found its way to my wrist. She dared not to look at me as she grabbed a stash and held them like they were about to drop from her finger tips. Regardless, success and management was only seconds away.
I spent the next 20 minutes in that men's room, hovering between the sink and paper towels, pinching my nose and graciously thanking the fact it didn't reach my clothing.
There are times when I think back to that day. As the charm and luck of Vegas would have it, my condition was exploited. A perfect day created the perfect circumstances for a perfect bleed. There's nothing left to say except, to hell with that bus driver.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Basketball Brands
I recently read an article on the blog of Dallas Mavericks Owner, Mark Cuban. In it Cuban discusses and compares the intricacies of international basketball with the NBA. It's a fabulous and insightful article reflecting his crisp, innovative and yet business-oriented mindset. However, there was one section of the post that triggered some thoughts which were reinforced by a couple reader's comments: "I don't understand why we have a Highschool 3 point line, college 3 pointer and then Nba ... It doesn't prove useful in any international competition."
I looked into it. Actually, high school and college share the same 3-point line distance (19'9"*basket-top arc), but are significantly different from the NBA (23'9"*), which is significantly different from the international game (20'8"*). There's also a considerable difference in court length/width. Why is that? And more importantly, is there a benefit to having the college, NBA and International game played and taught at these dimensions (not to mention the rule disparities) or does it reflect our exclusive and exceptional view of American sports? i.e. the best athletes in the world, most competitive leagues and the idea that Indianpolis vs. Chicago will decide the "World Champion."
I don't mind the idea of keeping high school ball at its current dimensions. And assuming that NBA ball is the most challenging, competitive and overall 'cream of the crop,' then it seems to me that NCAA hoops and its cross between high school and the NBA is the odd man out. I understand it may want to prepare its athletes for the professional game but has the NCAA brand of basketball come at the expense of our international game? Why not educate college athletes on how the game is played around the world as well as in the NBA? Especially considering that the vast majority of college basketball players will never play in the NBA (over 20,000 college basketball players and only 60 get selected in the draft).
It makes the most sense to me to eliminate this private adaptation we see in today's college hoops and enhance our understanding of FIBA and the international game. This would not only create and hone the skills to effectively help Team USA during international competition but it would also educate the fans and media about the World's brand of basketball.
I looked into it. Actually, high school and college share the same 3-point line distance (19'9"*basket-top arc), but are significantly different from the NBA (23'9"*), which is significantly different from the international game (20'8"*). There's also a considerable difference in court length/width. Why is that? And more importantly, is there a benefit to having the college, NBA and International game played and taught at these dimensions (not to mention the rule disparities) or does it reflect our exclusive and exceptional view of American sports? i.e. the best athletes in the world, most competitive leagues and the idea that Indianpolis vs. Chicago will decide the "World Champion."
I don't mind the idea of keeping high school ball at its current dimensions. And assuming that NBA ball is the most challenging, competitive and overall 'cream of the crop,' then it seems to me that NCAA hoops and its cross between high school and the NBA is the odd man out. I understand it may want to prepare its athletes for the professional game but has the NCAA brand of basketball come at the expense of our international game? Why not educate college athletes on how the game is played around the world as well as in the NBA? Especially considering that the vast majority of college basketball players will never play in the NBA (over 20,000 college basketball players and only 60 get selected in the draft).
It makes the most sense to me to eliminate this private adaptation we see in today's college hoops and enhance our understanding of FIBA and the international game. This would not only create and hone the skills to effectively help Team USA during international competition but it would also educate the fans and media about the World's brand of basketball.
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